How Celibacy Made Me Sick

How Celibacy Made Me Sick

Last year I experienced a sexual and spiritual revolution. As a woman with a strong libido I have dealt with many of my issues (meaning not dealing with them at all, just avoiding them) through having sex.

Last year in March, after ending up in the hospital with such heavy stomach cramps I literally thought I would die (and I am not one to complain plus I have a high threshold for pain) the doctor sent me home with laxatives… Considering the fact I was on my computer, working, in the ER, maybe a doctor could have drawn the conclusion that I was not in fact constipated (!!!) I was stressed the fuck out.

What I was actually doing was avoiding myself. And I would have done anything to avoid dealing with the tsunami of emotions of sadness, anger, fear and shame I was hoarding in my tiny 5 foot body, including working 24/7 and still carve out the time to juggle men (yes, plural).

As I found myself paralysed with pain on the bathroom floor of one of these men (after mounting him in thigh high leather boots on his expensive white designer couch) I still wouldn’t stop my destructive behaviour. I needed to numb myself, I did not want to feel what I had so meticulously avoided, at all costs.

It wasn’t until I found myself in another bedroom (shortly afterwards…) with another man with such paralysing pain that I had to leave in the middle of the night and that brought me to the ER the day after (in the company of my computer…).

This mad behaviour led me to the realisation that my body was not only overly stressed but also that my temple was physically rejecting these men and when I finally listened to her I committed to one sexual partner and the best sex I’ve ever experienced (thus far) because hen helped me to explore and open up to my sexuality.


So I became celibate,

for 5 months

(Meaning no sexual activity apart from solo masturbation less than twice monthly).

In this process of sexual- and spiritual revolution I came to the conclusion that my body is in fact my temple and I want to be highly selective of what type of energies I let inside of me, because sex is so much more than just sex and If i would keep my personal life away from energy vampires and people whom would hold me down, why would I not have the same standards for my precious yoni? (The answer is self-worth, but that’s a WHOLE other chapter…)

So I became celibate, for 5 months. (Meaning no sexual activity apart from solo masturbation less than twice monthly).

Now this might sound like “a fart in space” (translation: easy peasy lemon squeezy) as we weird Swedes would say, and for some this might sound like mission impossible (actually humming the M:I anthem as I’m writing this (OMG I had to listen to it, it’s SO GOOD!)).

To me, personally, it was a crucial part in my involution (the evolution of our inner selves). I needed to be alone. To devote my time to just me without pleasing or helping others (well, I still do this…) to put myself first and realising what self love is. I now understand that putting yourself first is not egotistical (I used to feel like it was) it is crucial.

Cus if you can’t love your self, then how the hell you gon’ love somebody else? (Shoutout Ru Paul <3)

The best part of being celibate:

  • More time - do you know how much time you waste chasing men/women? Constant texting, DMs, face-time calls, GIFs, and I’m not even on snapchat or tinder!?

  • More energy - energy to devote my time in educating myself, becoming a better person through self development and turning inwards

  • Better focus - no distractions, no “omfg what does he mean by watching my story but not answering my message!?!?“ and sleeping like an angel knowing that no one is cheating on me because I’m celibate as fuck

  • Peace of mind - zero drama when your minding your own business

  • Clarity

  • Intimate relationships that is not revolved around just sex

  • A kidney infection…

No kidding. A freaking kidney infection!?

Apparently when you do break your celibacy it is very common to contract “Honeymoon Cystitis”, a urinary tract infection, which left untreated, can develop into a kidney infection…

Now, onto the biohacking part:

Apparently, by being celibate, I missed out on this:

  • Women whom have at least one or two orgasms a week feels better and lives longer

  • Frequent orgasms = better overall immune system

  • Lower inflammatory markers since orgasms decreases cortisol (the stress hormone)

  • Orgasms support healthy hormone levels

  • They flood the female body with estrogen (sex hormone, crucial to the reproductive function and cycle of a woman) and oxytocin (the love hormone)

  • Women get a postorgasm that increase serotonin levels (the happy chemical)

    My Conclusion

    How to live your best life as a woman? = MORE ORGASMS

    (Sorry guys, the male ejaculation is a whole other story…)