A reminder to myself and all you beautiful souls out there that you are a human being not human doing.
I decided to leave life as I knew it in Stockholm, in January earlier this year and with it I was leaving a successful career, a great salary that came with financial security, a place in the social hierarchy of Stockholms beautiful metropolitans, a strong network, a beautiful apartment with over 70 pairs of shoes, an extensive wardrobe with automatic LED lights and sliding doors (and colour coordinated racks and drawers…) Swedish white washed hardwood floors, Japanese chef knives, a BPA-plastic free kitchen with a pantry consisting of glass jar containers, marked with hand-stamped DYMO labels in black and white (arranged in alphabetical order.) Hand made heavy ceramic plates made by an extraordinary Swedish potter, an incredibly comfortable bed with 6 down pillows and a three meter wide duvet covered in Egyptian cotton sheets in Midsommarkransen (where all the hipsters live…)
6 months has passed since I made my mind up that evening on Berawa beach, seated atop a colourful bean bag, watching the sunset whilst manifesting my new life in Bali.
Today as I woke up in my house that I’m sharing with the sweetest roommate (a 2 meter large aussie-viking-yogini) I could feel how this mornings full moon lunar eclipse in Capricorn (that occurred at 5:38 am Bali time) affected me as I tried to get back to my biohacking daily OCD-schedule, but just like yesterday my body was rejecting it.
Instead of listening to my body I continued with my morning routine and my 20 minute morning exercise that (of course) led to my ass and back muscle pinching together in resistance, so I stoped, and began my holosync meditation which allows my brainwaves to enter alpha-, beta and theta state in order to realign my mind with my body. Allowing my needs, instead of resisting them.
So I went off script and sat down at Manggis (one of my favourite cafés in Canggu, beautiful, quiet, with the most amazing staff) to enjoy a double espresso and let the day unfold according to what I feel like doing.
This led me to reading the horoscope of the Lunar Eclipse by one of my favourite astrologers, Chani Nicholas (here is the magical link for your sun and rising sign if you scroll down a little) and came to the following realisation:
Capricorn rising: this lunar eclipse asks me to hone in on my milestones, realising that I did give my best effort and in fact did move to Bali in order to create space for me to follow my heart, my passion and to be more clear on what I want. I risked my “reputation” (such a highly efficient mechanism of social control) to live more sincerely and in my power. Once again being reminded that the power of vulnerability is a ritual with incredible benefits and through being brutally honest with myself enabling me to getting clear on what I want. (This is something that I still struggle with having spent the majority of my first 20 years living for everyone else but me.)
Pisces sun: this lunar eclipse reminds me of the importance of building a meaningful life. Cultivating connections that are soulful, deeply nourishing, and grounding with places and people I feel refuelled by. Serving myself in order to bring out the best in me, finding and building my community, the importance it has, and how much I have longed for it. Looking back at the friendships I’ve been building for the past 6 months, creating space for them, checking up on them, tending to the emotional issues that are bound to come up with them.
This is why I love astrology (more like j’adore!). It gives me a powerful tool to reconnect with myself, review my life and where I am at the moment and through that evaluation, make sense of why the fuck I left Stockholm in the first place and why I made all those crazy ass decisions (that at the time made NO sense) in the first place.
This astrological practice invites me to a personal reality check and in the process I acquire an abundance of gratitude towards myself and the universe, being reminded of the beautiful fact that I am curating my life through every choice I make, that my daily behaviour always reflects my deepest beliefs and how privileged I am to be able to live the way I am currently living because I made the necessary choices in order to make it happen.
I hope you read this and choose to be inspired, since we all have the privilege and the power to make our own choices. Because in life it is the bravest who wins, what you do today is creating your future. Small daily optimisations over time leads to legendary results, commitment beats talents and everything you now find easy you once found hard. Consistency is the mother of mastery, and if you’re not making mistakes you are playing too small. It will work if you do the work, and please remember; I believe in you.
Xxx / Nikita Lee